Tips to Negotiate Two Homes with Children

Benefits of Collaborative Divorce

Benefits of Divorce Mediation

Separating Finances Before Divorce

Tips to Negotiate Two Homes with Children

On behalf of Pladson Law Office posted on December 19, 2016

Divorce shakes a child's foundation. It doesn't matter how old they are or how much they understand; divorce can really upset a child's sense of being safe and feeling loved. However, when two parents work together to focus on the child's needs through co-parenting, the child tends to have less behavioral and social problems and adjust more quickly to life following the divorce.

Living in two homes can be tough. Although you can't take away all the stress of going back and forth, you can take measures to limit the negative effects. Here are some tips:

  • Keep essentials, like a toothbrush, toothpaste, pajamas and a hairbrush, at both homes. This eliminates the "I forgot it" blues.
  • Don't feel as if you have to share time exactly 50/50. Work out a schedule that fits into the child's needs and your work schedules.
  • Keep a calendar for the child that shows which house he or she will be at on each day. He or she may not have control over the schedule, but it's important to have information.
  • Let the child pick out furniture and decorate the new room. If you're the parent in the old home, don't try to compete with the other parent.
  • Share toys and books between homes. Try to let the child make some of these decisions. At the least, buy two of any favorite books or toys.
  • Put a picture of the other parent in the child's room.
  • Don't make the child feel guilty for enjoying time at the other parent's home. Watch your own reactions and be neutral if necessary.
  • Think of your parenting plan like a living document. Children's needs will change over time. They are going to have different schedules each year. Adapt to their needs as necessary.

Learn better communication skills during your divorce

During mediation and negotiation, learn from the experts who are helping you and the other parent. Watch how disagreements are settled, so that later, you will have the skills to work through the skirmishes that can happen. Your children are always watching you deal with people, and how you handle your divorce or separation will go a long way toward teaching your child how to deal with difficult situations.

You can learn to communicate with your ex-spouse about your children, even though the marriage broke up. Be a good role model for the ones who really matter. Get the right information for your case from an advocate who knows and understands divorce law by discussing your concerns about your divorce and custody with an experienced attorney. 

3 Benefits of Collaborative Divorce

On behalf of Pladson Law Office posted on Wednesday, June 21, 2017.

Is the end of your marriage near? This can be a stressful and worrisome process. You might be concerned about the emotional and financial turmoil of a combative divorce. The good news is that your separation does not have to end that way. Many couples choose collaborative divorce in North Dakota because of the multiple benefits.

Your divorce will probably be hard, but it does not have to be ugly. The goal of a collaborative divorce is to end your marriage as peacefully as possible. If this sounds like something you and your spouse can manage, keep reading for specific advantages.

1. Lower costs 

Every divorce will cost something, but it does not have to be an arm and a leg – or the house or your entire savings. A trained collaborative divorce attorney can help you save hundreds or thousands of dollars, particularly on attorney fees. In a traditional divorce, the discovery process of hidden assets can cost a lot. In a collaborative environment, you and your spouse will share all financial information.

2. Less bitterness

A divorce full of court battles usually means wounds that never heal. Going through your divorce with a warfare mindset can end in disaster for you, your spouse and your kids. Collaborative divorce can help you manage your emotions and come to mutually beneficial solutions.

3. Faster results

Embattled divorces often take longer. When each person is fighting tooth and nail with aggressive attorneys, it can easily turn into a drawn-out process. Collaboration can reduce this time significantly, helping you both to move on with your lives and put the divorce behind you.

Another option for couples who are willing to work together is mediation. Divorcing through a mediator comes with many of the same benefits as a collaborative divorce. Whichever option you choose, make sure you do what is best for you and your family. If you have questions about divorcing, talk to a collaborative family law attorney.

Benefits of divorce mediation

On behalf of Pladson Law Office posted on Tuesday, March 21, 2017.

Whether the decision to separate is mutual or not, many people in Fargo have the impression that their divorces are going to become difficult and time consuming. Couples who are looking for a beneficial alternative to divorce litigation should consider mediation. It is often a good option for separating partners who are willing to talk things through to reach resolutions that work best for everyone.

Minimizes emotional trauma

Couples who wish to minimize their children's involvement in their divorce proceedings as much as possible may find mediation particularly helpful. To successfully take advantage of this method, parents must communicate effectively and work together, and this benefits the children by reducing the damaging stress that parental conflict causes. Using mediation to finalize divorce situations can allow parents to keep their kids from the emotional hardships of going to trial.

Former partners can advocate for themselves

Couples who are on good terms with each other and already agree about major aspects of their situations, such as the division of assets and marital properties, child custody, parenting time, child support and alimony, may use mediation to advocate for themselves. Usually, when the courts become involved, the ability to make decisions is taken out of their hands. Separating spouses risk not having their agreements and wishes heard or honored. Mediation preserves the couple's right to reach resolutions that are more in their favor.

More affordable than court litigation

Couples who decide to work with mediators can reduce the length of time it takes to resolve their divorce situations. They can avoid long and drawn out litigation which can cause their divorce costs to skyrocket. They can also avoid much of the stress and frustrations that typically come with spending so much time trying to finalize their split from their partners so they can move on with their lives.

Protects privacy

Once the courts become involved in divorce situations, all details become public information. Many people are not aware that mediation allows them to preserve their right to privacy, stay in control and keep the public from knowing the intimate details about their situations.

Mediation is not a one-size solution for all divorcing couples. Anyone who is thinking about filing for divorce should consider whether this technique is beneficial to the situation. When married couples are on the same page and interested in resolving their issues as amicably and quickly as possible, mediation may be a good option for them. People who are considering divorce and want to learn more about the benefits of mediation should speak to an attorney about their circumstances for guidance.

Separating your finances before divorce

On behalf of Pladson Law Office posted on Monday, November 28, 2016.

Once you have decided to file for divorce, separating your finances promptly can save you trouble down the road. Whether the divorce is going to be amicable or not, untangling your finances from those of your soon-to-be ex-spouse can cut down on time spent in court. There are several steps you can take to make your financial separation go smoothly.

Close joint accounts

Your first move should be to close joint accounts. Otherwise the debt accrued on any of them will be the responsibility of both spouses. You can find yourself responsible for money you never spent. You do not want to share a bank account or a credit card at this point.

Check your joint credit

Running a credit check is also important to make sure there is no hidden debt that you are unaware of but may be responsible for. You need to have all the information available to you before you enter into any agreements concerning property division.

Open your own accounts

Once your joint accounts are closed and done with, open a bank account under your own name. You should also have your own credit cards that are not accessible by your spouse. The individual who is staying in the marital home should also transfer the utility bills to his or her name solely. That spouse also needs to have the mortgage or the rental agreement transferred to him or herself. Each couple will need to work out the arrangements that will be best for them in this respect. The spouse remaining in the home may have to buy out the other, whether through a lump sum or a payment plan.

Separate insurance plans

If one spouse is listed as a dependent on the other's insurance, he or she will also need to get a separate insurance plan. The two of you should also review life or disability insurance policies and modify them. Other shared property such as land or a vehicle should also be transferred to one person.

Some of the financial decisions described here can be difficult to make. Oftentimes couples are not able to agree and have to litigate the issue in front of a judge. This can cause a lot of stress, especially if there are other important issues on the table like custody and child support. Working out an agreement in advance can ease the transition. It is advisable for each party to consult an attorney before making any irrevocable concessions. Many family law attorneys have mediation experience and can help divorcing spouses figure out the best way to separate their finances with a minimum of fighting and emotional stress.